Part 3

In our final instalment of Betty Kilonzo's newly published Househelp Manual, we delve into the relationship between the employer and the househelp.

The relationship between employer and househelp must always remain professional, respectful, and clearly defined. A healthy working relationship builds trust, prevents misunderstandings, and creates a safe and peaceful home.

1. Chain of Command

• There should be clear communication on who will be the primary manager.
• In households where the woman is the manager, the househelp must take instructions primarily from her.
• If the male employer issues instructions, they should not contradict those of the woman in charge. Clear communication
•  between employers is necessary to avoid confusion.
• The house help must always respect both employers, but clarity on who gives the day-today directions prevents conflict and tension.

2. Relationship with Male Employer

• The relationship between a househelp and the male employer must remain strictly professional at all times.
• Personal familiarity, over-friendliness, or inappropriate behaviour is unacceptable.
• Employers should also maintain clear boundaries to protect both the integrity of the household and the dignity of the worker.
• Any sign of misconduct or harassment must be reported immediately and handled with seriousness.

3. Relationship with Other Househelps

• If more than one househelp is employed, teamwork and respect are expected.
• Duties should be divided fairly, and no one should overburden or look down upon another.
• Conflicts must be reported to the employer instead of escalating through quarrels.
• Sharing household issues with outsiders, forming cliques, or undermining one another destroys trust and should be discouraged.

4. Relationship with Neighbors, Caretakers, and Outsiders

• A househelp represents the family when outside the home. Their conduct should be respectful, discreet, and professional.
• Avoid quarrels with neighbors, caretakers, or security staff.
• Maintain courtesy when interacting with delivery people, tradesmen, or visitors.
• Never borrow money, request favors, or create dependency relationships with outsiders on behalf of the employer

5. Confidentiality & Household Privacy

• Household matters are private and must never be discussed with neighbors, friends, or relatives.
• This includes financial details, personal relationships, arguments, visitors, or any information overheard in the home.
• Sharing private family issues outside is a serious breach of trust and may lead to termination.
• Social media: Househelps must not post photos, videos, or personal details about the household or minors in it without without the employer’s explicit consent.

6. Respect Regardless of Employer’s Personal Traits

• Employers may differ in age, size, gender, or personality traits, but this does not change the professional relationship.
• The employer is the one who pays your wages and must be respected at all times.
• No matter how familiar or close you may grow with your employer, never forget that your relationship is professional, not personal.
• Respecting boundaries protects both the worker and the household from unnecessary conflict.

7. Communication & Attitude

• Househelps should raise concerns respectfully and at the right time.
• Employers should listen with fairness and clarity.
• A positive attitude, willingness to learn, and respect for authority are critical in maintaining harmony.
• Discussing issues with outsiders, disrespect, or a negative spirit affects trust and weakens the relationship.

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