Kavinya did not cook and not because she could not, but because she hated it, and also because she was bad at it. Every once in a while, Muna would go to Kavinya’s house and spend the whole day cooking different meals and packing them in containers. When Kavinya ran out of Muna’s food, she ate in hotels, or ordered takeouts. 

Those were their bonding moments, moments that went too fast for both of them because there was always so much to talk about. Today was such a day. 

“Still determined to stay in your miserable marriage?” Kavinya asked as she peeled potatoes and Muna worked on seasoning chicken. 

“I wouldn’t call it miserable,” she said, pausing for a moment. “It’s a habit we are too lazy to break, and we stay out of each other’s way.”

“That may be true, but I feel like you still being married to Wes stops you from getting into another relationship. I feel that deep down, you are still playing a faithful wife.”

“You know, you could be right, or not. I have no illusions of saving the marriage - that ship sailed and honestly I do not even want to, but I cannot even begin to imagine dating again.”

“So you are hiding.”

Muna shrugged. “Possibly.”

“You need to leave that man officially, especially now that he is having an affair with Lilly. He is having his best life while the most exciting thing you do is cook for me.”

“You could just cook for yourself…”

“And you could just have a life!”

“Kavinya, we really do not know that they are having an affair - perhaps they are just old friends reconnecting?” Muna asked. She did not sound convincing, not even to herself. 

Kavinya sniggered. “As if you believe that! Listen, you know I love you, right? And you also know I would never lie to you, yes? Those two are having an affair.”

“I believe you.” Muna said, resuming marinating of the chicken. 

Kavinya had been easing her into that truth for a few weeks. It started when she told Muna that she had decided not to be joining the boys for after work drinks. “She is always there and it offends me.”

Muna knew.

Wesonga’s absences from home had not increased because increasing them would technically mean moving out, that was how little time he spent at home, but Muna knew that he and Lilly were inseparable. She knew from the scent of her perfume and cigarette smell all over him. He knew from how he no longer looked at her. He was spending all his free time with her.

“You should be out there hooking up with hot men, men like Kaguku.” 

“If I did not know you better, I would think Kaguku pays you to say good things about him.”

“Because I get so infuriated by the missed opportunity. You would have been so much happier with him.”

“Or not! Grass is not always greener on the other side - perhaps I bring out the worst in people.”

Kavinya rolled her eyes. “You should leave Wes before he leaves you. Because he will.”

Muna was kneading flour for chapati as she thought about their conversation. It was not new - nearly every time they met, they had a version of the same conversation. It was also a conversation she often had with herself and her therapist. 

Why was she still with Wesonga? Mentally, she had moved on. But how would she start the conversation with Liam and Lloyd? What if he let her go without alimony and she would have to downgrade from the life she had lived since she moved in with him?

She was a multi-millionaire, mainly because she had not used her salary since her first pay. Would she have to start digging into her savings?

***

For years, the affair between Wesonga and Lilly did not break the marriage more than it had been broken before Lilly arrived. 

Their communication was next as phone calls reduced to texts then to nearly none at all. For years, she waited for him to initiate divorce, then she stopped expecting it. He still went home later nearly every night, but Wesonga did not spend the whole night out of home, unless he was working or travelling. 

That was why Muna was frantic when she woke up at seven and realised he had not returned and his phone was off. 

Fearing the worst, she called Wamba. “We were together yesterday night, but I left early.” The next question on Muna’s lips was whether he had left with Lilly, but she did not ask, because she knew the answer, and she did not want to hear Wamba covering for Wesonga by lying to her. 

She called Kaguku even though she knew that he no longer hung out with them. Kaguku was in New York. That Muna had had to call Wesonga’s mother was what she could not forgive him for, especially when she, the mother, asked, “have you tried calling Lilly?”

Wesonga returned at two o’clock in the afternoon, fresh and wearing clothes she did not recognise. He looked tired and guilty. By that time, Muna had gone through all possible scenarios, and they were all bad. He found her in the bedroom, her eyes red from worry and tears.

“Where were you? You got me worried.” She demanded, sitting up straight in bed, feeling both relief and anger in equal measure. 

“Work emergency.”

“Stop lying to me, I am not stupid.” Her voice was calm, but she felt the opposite. “You could have called. I was worried!”

“Muna, I am not a child to be monitored, and right now I am not in an arguing mood!” 

“Neither am I! I am just telling you that it was selfish of you to sleep in that slut’s house and not bother to tell me that you would not be coming home.”

He moved fast, from the door to the bed, and slapped her hard, a slap that dislodged her enough to move her whole body. Wesonga immediately started apologising, looking close to tears. 

Muna put her hand on her hot and red cheek, glared at him for a few seconds, got off the bed without using the stepper and walked towards the door.

“You must never, ever slap me again,” she said calmly, hand still on her hot cheek.

Downstairs, she placed blocks of ice on her cheek, determined not to let the tears flow. A few minutes in, he found her in the kitchen. She did not look at him. 

“Muna, I am so, so sorry…”

“Get out.” She said in a low voice. “Please leave the house. I do not want to see you again today.”

She was still holding the ice on her face when she heard the front door open and shut.

***

A week after the slap, Wesonga stayed in on a Saturday night, the first time in years. It had been building up for a week, with him leaving for work late and coming back early, helping the boys with their assignments, him hanging around her, trying to make small talk she responded to mostly with nods.

On Sunday, he sent Liam and Lloyd to Redhill in a taxi for the Sunday lunch.  

“Let’s go out for lunch. Just the two of us,” he said. She said she had plans with Kavinya, which was not true. “Why are you avoiding me?” he finally broke his calm. “I am trying to repair us, Muna.”

“Repair what, Wes? There is nothing to repair. You are having an affair with Lilly - not a one-night stand, an affair. Tell me, how do you intend to repair us?”

It was the first time she was vocalising the affair to him.

They were in the bedroom. He sat on the bed, wearing a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. She stood by the closet with the doors open. She watched him calmly, because she was beyond and past anger. 

But she was a little guilty. 

The guilt came from being aware that she was manipulating an overdue breakup she was too cowardly to do directly. 

She watched him as his face went through all different emotions from guilt to anger to frustration to shock. There were few times that she had seen Wesonga look vulnerable, and this was one of those times. 

“You have changed,” he said it like it had just dawned on him. 

“Haven’t we all, Wes.”

***

“Now you are talking! A man who slaps you once will slap you again and again,” Kavinya told Muna after Muna narrated what had happened earlier. They were in one of the food courts at Sarit Centre. Muna had a glass of juice with her while Kavinya had a beer. 

“You know,” Muna said thoughtfully, “I am usually so conflicted about Lilly. She might be having an affair with my husband but she is actually a perfect mistress who has never offended me. I cannot say the same for everyone else who seems to offend me on her behalf.”

“Well, I straight up hate her on your behalf. I could even offend her on your behalf! Girl is knowingly having an affair with a married man. That has never been a cool thing, however cool you are. If she has such a hold on him, she should not have agreed to be a mistress for years.” 

***

Spending hours at the spa with Kavinya and making long overdue life changing decisions in the process left Muna physically relaxed but mentally exhausted. 

She was so focused on making a cup of hibiscus tea and sleeping early that she did not see his car at his usual parking spot, but she was hit by the aroma as soon as she opened the door. 

She paused by the door, confused. Then she choked a little at the realisation that the aroma was familiar. Familiar, because there was a particular way that Wesonga mixed the same spices she used but he had a particular signature that identified his cooking. She had not smelled it in years, not since before the children were born.

She let the door click back softly behind her, intending to sneak in undetected. She was halfway up the stairs when he emerged from the kitchen, wearing an apron and no shirt. Just like he used to. 

 “Oh, there you are!” He said with forced cheer as he tried to search her eyes. “I was starting to worry that I would eat dinner alone.”

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